## Ask the Communist Mathemetician

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#### Question 1

Dear CM,

How do you solve the problem |x - 5| < 3?
Yours Truly,

Bob From PA

This question is obviously the basest sort of reactionary counter-revolution. For those of you who were robbed of the opportunity to learn mathematics "|x - 5| < 3" means, translated into English, "The absolute value of x minus five is less than three." Now, as everyone knows, in the glorious communist system of mathematics, all numbers are equal. The inequality inherent in this question is typical of thuggish bourgeois arrogance. Furthermore, Marx clearly explained that the source of all value is productive labor. If you wish to know what the "absolute value" is, examine the amount of work you put into solving the problem. Since you asked me rather than solving the problem, you've obviously done no work yourself. Consequently, the answer is zero.